Oh Well.
argh. been quite stone recently. nothing much to blog bout. everything's routine. everything sucks man. im gonna fail my lit test. i din understand the damn question. its so frustrating. the worst feeling ever man. to sit and stare at the paper and not knowing wad to write at all. and it has to be a lit paper. if its math, its understandable. but lit. mygosh. im ready to just flip and die. u can't fail lit!
sigh. i guess shit happens. tests are starting to become common place. hate it. exams sucks. wish i could just run away from everything.
played footie with my dad and his colleagues yesterday, ponning np at the same time. haha. played not bad i guess. managed to make 2 goals and score 1 with a solo effort. haha. quite fun.
went to my aunt's place for dinner. my cousins' birthday. twins. damn cool la. i wonder if twins actually know wad's on each other's minds. it was a bbq. quite fun to bbq. haha. ok. i know. damn no life.
MAN UTD BEAT PORTSMOUTH!
thanks to wayne rooney. he seems to stone thruout the entire game before popping up to score a few goals and save fergie's butt.
went to barker road methodist today. for the sake of xinwei. EH BENG! u better appreciate it. we woke up at 730 just to meet u at KAP and follow u to church. service was uber boring tho. the drummer was a bloody showoff. period.
ahhh. going jamming tmr~ wee!

turn back time. if i could.

i'd turn back time if i could. i've been thinking bout some crucial decisions i had made in the past few years. it turns out most of the decisions and actions i made were errors. a pity we can't rewind time. i would love to re-live my life again. but i can't. so i'll just let it be. and think carefully when making important decisions the next time.
i have to say im a procrastinator. i wait till the last minute to get my things done. and most of the time, its too late. the situation that im involved in can't be salvaged anymore. still, i don't learn. im quite pissed off at myself. for this damn bad habit of mine.
so many thoughts jumbled together in my head now. i donno wad to think. really. yes, u see a jovial me. u see me laughing, poking fun at my classmates, getting 'suaned' by classmates and laughing it off. but deep down, im always thinking. thinking bout the mistakes i made. thinking bout wad's going to happen in the future. or rather wad would have happened if i din commit the mistakes. i guess its just me. i gotta learn to look forward instead of backward. then maybe, i'll be a happier person.
easier said than done. im a pretty stubborn person. or rather, im the living example of 'old habits die hard'. hope i can change that.
ok. lets talk bout school and studies. im apprenhensive. of my task at hand. of the dire consequences i will have to face if i screw up. this world is cruel. we only get one chance at the most important situations.
i think my self-esteem has been battered, pounded, stepped on the ground. i just don show it. i guess maybe i feel that its better to keep it to myself. its not anyone's fault that it has become this way so better off keeping it to myself.
well, i guess this is the meaning of a Godless life. when u don hear God. when u start to backslide a bit. -yes daryl, im backsliding a bit- but im still waiting. waiting for the day when i finally hear God speak.

i din know o levels could be blocked..
oh well. its been a rather busy and hectic week. and it has gone by in a flash. monday was some prefect investiture thingamajig. prefects were all slacking off. some went to accompany 'guests' around the school. selected few with weird likings like daryl chia -oops- stayed in the board room. then was photo taking. the formal shoot happened like so fast. the photographer went "1,2,3" and the flash came straight at us.
then the informal shots. the first one was like everyone leaning over and i had to support A LOT of weight with my two legs against the bench. the second one i sat on the floor with a few others. after the shot everyone tau-poked who else but jerome. haha. i escaped from under. ranjee was like screaming "get off! get off!". great fun.
tuesday was like the yucky day. the lessons were boring. the one thing satan could do if i ever do go to hell is put me in a classroom with a and e math lessons for eternity.
wednesday. we had like pe. supposed to play footie. but no one came. its like when we don have a soccer ball, everyone's dyin to play. when we do have a class ball, no one wants to play. plain bullshit.
then today. something super hilarious happened. end of last period. deven walked into the innovation room thingy. never did he expect we would be there. i think we're his jinx class or something. and then he said ashok should go to the 'mind hospital'! hahahaha. he's simply hilarious! then he got pissed at ashok and anjan for laughing when the entire class were like laughing their butts off. he was screaming "COME HERE IDIOTS. TELL U REFORM U DON WANT. STILL WANT LAUGH LIKE SOME CRAZY FELLOWS! U KNOW I CAN BLOCK UR O'LEVEL EXAMS?!" damn funny. and he told ashok to "LOOK AT UR FAMILY SITUATION FIRST" which was totally out of point.
oh well. not really looking forward to tomorrow. there's chem test. ugh.

don't ask wat ur country can do for you. instead ask wad u can do for country, and then die. -PHD Ravjot Singh.

i won't dao anyone from now.
seriously. the worst feeling in the world is to get ignored. makes u feel frustrated and all. hahaha. so i will not ignore/dao anyone from now. unless that person pisses me off or something.
went to sentosa today. it was quite fun. swam and played soccer and all. hahaha. first we were like fooling around with the soccer ball then ben had to kick it out into the sea. i was all wet after that. haha. din really expect to get wet that quickly.
then swam and stuff. disturbed daniel. then ben went to build a shithole in the middle of nowhere. hahaha. some china ppl were burying themselves under sand nearby. oh well. then ben and i tried to suntan. actually we did until the 2 lovebirds decided to come and disturb ben. then this little girl was obviously fascinated at seeing 2 ppl suntanning on a beach and decided to kick some sea water at us. wow.
then well the rest was quite slack. bought the mashed potato frm 7-11. it was damn nice. but it was loaded with MSG. haha. yepp. den the stupid taxi uncle took us to changi airport and back home. the whole trip cost us $19.30. stupid uncle. rip us off. sigh. ok im tired. pardon me for my disjointed and somewhat misleading entry.

COLIN RAYE - Love me
i read a note my grandma wrote back in 1923.
Grandpa kept it in his coat,
and he showed it once to me.
He said,"Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but I loved your Grandma so."
We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.
Get married in the first town we came to, and live forever.
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet, instead
I found this letter, and this is what it said:
If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long I'll be.
But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till I see you again,I'll be loving you.
Love, me.
I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away,
In the doorway of a church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray.
I know I'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years;
But as he said these words to her, his eyes filled up with tears.
If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long I'll be.
But I'm not gonna let you down,
darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till I see you again,I'll be loving you.
Love, me.
Between now and then, till I see you again,I'll be loving you.
Love, me.

great song. period.

constantine...
wee~ got my class jersey yesterday. it actually looked better than the first time i saw it. im no.16! arjen robben! woo~ haha. ok outta point. and by the way ben, robben's better than fabregas.
then played soccer after school. kinda crappy. but still, wad can u expect from a 15 vs 15 game? haha. then went to north point to watch constantine. it was not bad. keanu reeves did well with his usual 'im too cool for u' character. it was kinda cool but it will probably cause daryl to flip for the wrong reasons. firstly, it distorts christian facts. secondly, gabriel the angel is portrayed as someone who's on the brink of insanity. thirdly, satan is portrayed as a fat piece of lard wearing a white suit.
haha. i guess that's bout wad ive been thru for yesterday and today. i haven't really settled into the festive mood yet. hahaha. im just in it for the red packets. oh well.
that's bout it. hahaha.

if only we could live twice.

Darius - live twice
Don't leave now
Not yet
There were time we regret
And I'm sorry
Somehow
I only
Wanted to make you proud

If I could only let you know
I'd give up everything I own
For just one more day with you
There's nothing I wouldn't do
I could not let it pass me by
If I make every sacrifice
To bring me back your love
If only we could live twice
If only we could live twice

When you told me
I froze
It still echoes
In my soul
Please forgive me
If I didn't say
I love you
Every single day

If I could only let you know
I'd give up everything I own
For just one more day with you
There's nothing I wouldn't do
I could not let it pass me by
If I make every sacrifice
To bring me back your love
If only we could live twice
If only we could live twice

Nobody told me we'd only get one chance
I didn't know that our tide would turn so fast
Why we have to say goodbye I don't understand

If I could only let you know
I'd give up everything I own
For just one more day with you
There's nothing I wouldn't do
I could not let it pass me by
If I make every sacrifice
To bring me back your love
If only we could live twice

I could not let it pass me by
Nothing I give to sacrifice
To bring me back your love
If only we could live twice
If only we could live twice
We'll meet in another life
If only we could live twice

the future is bleak..

hahaha. days seem to be getting longer. seconds feel like minutes. minutes feel like hours. bio period feels like a year. chinese period feels like a decade.
things aren't going as i thot it would be. the pressure doesn't seem to ease at all. u can see it in everyone. especially me. the living example of a troubled 15-year old. i get frustrated over the slightest error. i get pissed off easily. im eating too much. and my mind has been thrown into confusion.
its just so difficult to walk the talk as i've found out. so much for the not gonna be troubled. so much for the not being whiny bout everything. everything rebounded back like a soccer ball. i've been caught whining bout stress so many million times.
sometimes i just wanna throw it all away. all these studies. where and wad will they get me? a five-figure job in New York? so wad? i've thot bout just throwing everything away and just live a simple life. things are just so much simpler if we don understand it.
but i also understand that i shld try my best to keep my cool and carry on. but wad i really wanna do now is to walk closer to God. i mean seriously. just like all the ppl that did. i don care for any five-figure pay packet. well ok i do. but given a choice, i would rather serve God.
sometimes i just wish i could do things without thinking bout the consequences. but life isn't that way. i just cannot throw everything away overnight. it won't happen. all i can do now is just sit back and let nature takes its course. let everything just fall into place.
ok. this may sound like a very depressing entry. but im not really that depressed. im just thinking too much. haha.