i have this habit of zoning out more frequently these days. sometimes, i'll feel like there's no joy in my life. but then again, in restrospect, that's not possible. and when i zone out, its either i'm just stoning or i start thinking about my sec sch life. i can hear people going 'still can't get over it eh?' again. haha.

something funny happened on wednesday. i was on the way home and i was staring into space and then i started thinking about retaining (DO NOT ASK ME WHY I DONNO WHY) then after that, my mind wandered off to mindef cos i was thinking what if they can't approve your deferment, then my mind wandered off to letters because mindef sends letters and then somehow, my BRILLIANT brain linked letters with harry potter. then i asked myself, why the heck can they teleport themselves, levitate and stuff but they still need friggin' owls to send their letters. quite stupid right? ok its quite random but as you can see. my brain's pretty weird. genius and stupidity are separated by a fine line. i think i border on genius more than stupidity. :D

ohohoh! i can do more pull-ups now. i tried doing after PE today it felt slightly easier! I FEEL STRONG MUAHAHAHA! ok anyway, target is 4 to get a silver. so COME ON MK!

might be going for ulu pandan soccer tmr. i know this sounds really perverse but i enjoy the long 74 bus rides now more than ever. the damn bloody cold airconditioning. watching people board and alight while you are still glued to your seat. i think i'll enjoy my 74 bus ride tmr if i go for soccer. it'll remind me of the past and perhaps, make me feel happier a bit.

just maybe.

i need to build more muscle mass
i need to do more push-ups
i need to do more pull-ups
i need to lose more weight
i need to eat lesser

i need a MIRACLE

for now, food and i have a love-hate relationship. you get what i mean.

i donno whatsup with 300. dom and daniel tay have watched it and become oh-so-gungho. but at least they got the right values out of it.

i feel very accomplished. i packed my super messy tsunami hit table yesterday and its super neat and tidy and i seriously cannot stand it i mean its too neat!

the inability to speak your mind is seriously like that itch in your ass when you don wash your butt after you er-hem bomb pearl harbour. IT NEVER GOES AWAY.

ok i'm incoherent! BYE PEOPLE! :D:D:D

i think God works in some weird manner. He made me come to church because if i didn't, i wouldn't have my ez-link card for the whole of the week. which is a good thing. NOT!

and well, i think today's concert of prayer really helped me a lot. my dark areas in my life feels resolved now. and somehow, i feel happier today, i feel happier when i sing to God.

i read in a book that if someone has unconfessed sins, he/she cannot commune with God. he/she cannot worship the Lord, he/she will feel detached from God. perhaps this is the reason why i felt so detached, so distant for so long.

well, at least it has come to an end.

SO THANK YOU BRENDA FOR TAKING MY EZ LINK CARD! HAHAHA! AND FOR BUYING CONCESSION FOR ME!

nevermind the fact that i feel detached from the people from church, at least i feel happier when i praise the Lord.

ok this has been a very Christian post. hahaha.

in case anyone doesn't know yet, im not playing a div and i'm not happy nor sad about it. perhaps i was resigned to my fate.

anyway, i'm freaking determined to lose some weight. if not i can't run faster. and i must beat dominicneo for 2.4 hahaha. NAPFA'S IN 7 WEEKS! AHHHHH!

lose weight = lesser baggage = can run faster = beat dom

so i must run more, eat less, play more soccer. :D

OHMYSON ITS RAINING CATS AND DOGS NOW.

i don like the end of the hols. i seriously don't. its like you know the end is nearing. and you just wanna enjoy everything you can which you cannot during sch days. late nights, long hours on the com and xbox, goofing around with friends. well, i managed to do all of the above this week, so i guess it wasn't really that bad. besides, i managed to cramp in some time to study as well. so it has been quite good. if only we had a week or more of hols. =/

well, math fac test was kinda bad. i made a lot of silly mistakes. mistakes that could have been avoided. in the end, i failed by 4 marks. i was super pissed with myself. it wasn't as if i didn't study. i studied yet i blew it. sigh. oh well. no choice. i guess i'll have to work harder.

well, outing on wed with the ac guys. king dog's gonna be in the army tmr. haha. damn sad. watched pursuit of happiness. it was a very good show. will smith and his son can really act. and it was rather motivational. =/ motivated me to study.

went out with some people from class today. went for badminton and had lunch at yuki yaki. we started camwhoring the whole way from yuki yaki to city hall interchange after that. but damn lazy to post the pics now.

shit, i feel emo and i feel fat.

YAY IM PROUD TO SAY I HAVEN'T EMO-ED IN QUITE AWHILE. :D

sitting alone on the bus, looking out of the window, watching people and buildings go past, is such a wonderful thing.

well, i haven't been in the best of moods recently. i don't know why but i've been emo-ing quite a lot. and stoning too. i zone out very frequently, staring blankly into space, thinking of a million and one things. thankfully, i don't really stone during lessons.

bio spa today was quite ok. a lot of hints were given. i think i did pretty well. enough to do well. but hey, don count the chicks till they hatch.

as i've said, been feeling rather down recently. no particular event that caused me to be so. maybe its just accumulation of everything. recently, i've thought of quitting football. i don feel belonged. i don feel appreciated. i don't see the point in continuing.

the a levels are becoming a huge part of my life. i want to study more and more. i'm thinking of devoting about 1 and a half hours to 2 hours per weekday on work. its quite a good thing, yet perhaps, it may not be. but i know why i'm becoming like this. i cannot and will not fail again.

loads of shit man. whoever said turning 18 was fun? i'm just trying to be optimistic and looking forward to the end of the year.

thankfully, no affairs of the heart to handle. hahaha. blessing or curse, i guess its up to the individual.

i digress. well, stoning is actually quite a fun thing to do. i'm quite amazed at the things i actually think of when i stone. you see, when i stone, i don really blank out. my mind floats somewhere else and thinks of many many other things. so far, i've thought of not studying, not studying and well, a life without studying.

as you can see, studying is taking a huge chunk out of me. and that is why this blog post is so kuku.

i think this is a really wrong but funny picture. now i get why hargreaves said beckham's my idol. hahaha.

just received my chinese a's results today. i got a B. i was half surprised yet wasn't really that surprised after that. i mean, i should have known. not because i didn't study for it. but its some sort of trend.

backtrack to 2005, i managed to do really well for my sec 3 end of years. in fact, top in cohort for chinese (no i'm not lying and yes, i can write but can't speak). and the following year, when the o's results came back, i got a B3.

2007. it happened again. i was 2nd in the whole level. and what happens? i get a B for my a's.

i doubt i'll repeat what i did and retake the paper. it takes up 6 periods a week. and most of the time, the lessons are in the afternoon. it takes up a lot of energy and time. i can actually make use of the time to rest and study for my H2 subjects which are what the universities look at primarily.

JEROME'S BBQ NEXT SAT! WOOHOO!

ok that's quite random.

i suddenly miss my ac friends a whole lot. i have no idea why. i've been quite emo the past few days. hahaha. loads of shitty thoughts keep coming. BUT ITS OK. i shall stand firm in the face of adversity.

i think i'll go for francis flowers on sunday if there is. haha. and i think i'll ask nordin to put me back to left mid. where i belong. even though there's imran there, who's fitter and more skilful than me. at least i know i do lesser wrong there than at left back. hahaha.

alright, gotta go. there's econs test tmr. gotta study for it! bye world! :D