to all those who are brave enough to venture into the land of the internet while in the midst of their examinations or preparing for their first paper (that includes me), i salute you.

YOU HAVE BALLS.

currently, i'm in a state many people would like to term "stressed". make that -insert vulgarity for dramatization- STRESSED.

all the best to everyone taking their exams. fight hard, fight well. you are only answerable to yourself at the end of the day.

i've been in the mood for blogging these past few nights. maybe its because the a levels are coming (OMG ITS FREAKING 3 DAYS AWAY). so instead of working my ass off, i am here communicating to people who happen to come across my blog. not to say that i haven't been working my ass off. i feel that i have worked my ass off for this examinations and i think i deserve decent grades (no, not E for Effort) but since life doesn't really give everyone an equal size of the pizza, i just have to suck it up and hope that what i do is sufficient (at this point, i have to say rafflesians are godlike muggers, leaving their seats less than 5 times from 9am to 7pm)

late nights/early mornings are no good because this is the time where you know, things start become blurry and i start hallucinating and stuff and basically its a perfect time to think about the past, present and future.

i was flipping through old photo albums and really i never fully appreciated photography more. photos are like memory banks, storing memories, experiences of the past. be it happy or sad memories, photographs capture those moments that you never knew you would look back at 10 years later and allow yourself a smile while the thoughts and emotions of those moments fill you up momentarily. seeing a picture of my grandparents when they were younger, healthier and alive got me taking a trip down memory lane. its amazing how time tears each and every one of us apart. i saw myself when i was younger and i couldn't believe how puny (and cute, not that im not now) i was then.

the half hour spent flipping through those photo albums were well worth it. back to the present, did i mention that the a levels are omg 3 days away? gd stuff. awesome.

or maybe good game. owned.

alright its time for me to crash. i think library trip is out of the equation for tmr. meanwhile, take care, study hard (for those who have to study), flip through your photo albums and allow yourself a smile as you take a trip down memory lane yourself. there's always enough time to do that.

watching the re-run of arsenal vs sparta prague made me have one of those 'damn im born in singapore' moments again.

in other words, you know this is gonna be a whiny post so here i go.

i really don't want to take the a levels.
ok, to set the record straight, this is prolly the most prepared i've ever been for any examination (maybe except for psle) but then, the competition is crazy ass fierce. it makes me feel like what i've done is peanuts compared to what others are doing now to get those As. frankly, i'll be more than satisfied with an AABB grade.

for once, i actually really thought about my future. the repercussions of this examination are huge. i really want to go overseas to study but that is not possible unless i get a scholarship which is pretty unattainable at the moment with chinese,indian,vietnamese scholars flying into singapore from all four directions and snapping up our scholarship opportunities and university places. not to mention singaporeans nowadays are studying so damn hard like they have no life and it doesnt' help that we only have pathetic orchard rd as our source of entertainment and fun. no wonder everyone's studying like mad. being nerdy is the new cool.

can't wait for the next month to be over. then its taiwan and normal life will resume for 5 months before NS beckons.

meanwhile, stay focused, stop dreaming about what you could have been, be the no.1 nerd. the best is yet to be.

my new favourite singer and song.

in other news, it is less than a week to the first paper.
work hard, persevere, lets do this.

my companion on long bus rides, long train rides, emo days, studying hours, lonely nights has passed on.

gdbye my dear ipod. NOW I HAVE NO IDEA HOW IM GONNA STAY ALIVE WHILE HAVING NOTHING TO LISTEN TO WITH ALL MY OTHER FRIENDS LISTENING TO MUSIC WHILE THEY STUDY.

WHY GIVE UP ON ME NOW, WHY?!?!?!?!?!

MY IPOD RESURRECTED!!! i'm calling it jesus now. :D

it has been a sad week for english sport. on the verge of gaining qualification to euro 2008, they self-destructed in the second half against russia thanks to fat paul.


this, my friends, is fat paul.

a few days later, england's rugby team crashed to a defeat by south africa. a game with no tries and a lot of penalties.

AND yesterday, mr lewis hamilton had everything to lose and he did lose everything at the brazilian grand prix, with kimi raikkonen claiming an unlikely victory and world title.



yes that's the world champion. what a stud. with a model girlfriend who is taller than him to boot.

just like kimi (besides the stunning good looks we share), its the final race of the season for me and well, most of the people i know. maybe we didn't start well, maybe we kind of screwed up somewhere in between, but at the end of the day, what matters is how you finish. no one really remembered raikkonen's horrid start to the campaign. and now, he'll be remembered as the world champion, with stunningly good looks unlike fernando alonso.

you see, it doesn't really matter what happened before. as long as there is still an opportunity, we should grab it with both hands and make the best of it.

haha. ok i'm trying to console myself here. enough talk. its work time. raikkonen didn't win the title by doing nothing and telling himself he will win.

waking up at 7 plus is not funny considering i slept for about 5 hours for the past 2 days. pulled myself out of bed to head for the national library which has become my second home, with chin chin coffeeshop my second dining room.

i've been rather irritable since yesterday for some weird reason. anyhoo, today was less productive because i wasn't focusing much and i was tired. 13 days to the first paper just a reminder to all you cool people who have the time to read this while studying for a's (i'm cooler cos i'm blogging).

speaking of cool, the aircon is bloody cold in the study lounge i shiver everytime i leave for the rest room and come back.

as you can see i'm talking about totally random stuff now because i know my brain is rotting and all i wanna do is be retarded for the night which means im going to waste another night. fantastic news.

ok onto some form of serious stuff. being an observer for the first hour in the study lounge, i saw something that really shook me a little. first off, i'll be the first to admit that i'm not exactly one who embraces all races readily and unless you're really really a very nice person, you would be lying if you said you could to. so today, there was this chinese middle-aged man with his laptop sitting at his table. there was this african man who stepped in and asked if he could take the seat opposite him (i think that's what he said, gesturing can only tell me so much) and all he did was shake his head so thankfully the african dude found a seat two seats next to me.

a few mins later some chinese girl walked in and he let her sit down opposite her.

now, i'm not being skeptical or anything but seriously, i am quite sure that this is a racial thing. as i've said, i'm not exactly a very racial harmonious person (i love malay and indian food though), we all have prejudices against one another but to deny a man a seat at the same table as you is just crossing the line isn't it? i mean, there were not many seats left and the most courteous thing he could do was let the man sit down. i was actually quite appalled. it may not be what it seemed to be but if it really is, i think we need to take a look at how we perceive and treat people.

if we don't, we might be looking at 1964 riots all over again. (im pretty damn sure its gonna occur during our generation and yes, i did study for social studies).

ok. i think i'm going to sleep early today. i ate damn a lot and studied damn little and i'm gonna sleep early.

its a beautiful day nonetheless.
take care, rest well, study hard, eat less lest we all turn into fat franks and pauls.

so the journey as a student officially ended on 12th october 2007. no, i wasn't filled with emotions or whatnot. i was kind of relieved that i've reached the end of my schooling life before i realized what was to come (stupid mindef letter).

the past 12 years as a student has been bittersweet, especially the last 4 years. i remember back in primary school where one teacher would teach us english, math, science, art and health education. they were like superhuman beings at that time.

needless to say, the time i spent in sec sch is probably the best time of my life. the friendships forged, the time spent together learning and playing (and eating) would always be something i would miss. given a chance, i would choose to live those 4 years all over again.

JC life was... interesting to say the least. it was a period of change and acclimatization. and although i didn't feel too good in the beginning, i feel that this past 2 years, i've matured as a person. im not saying that i've seen the world and experienced tremendous hardship but i guess it is suffice to say that having been "protected" throughout the first 10 years of schooling life, i was finally able to get a glimpse of how life would be like when girls came into the equation and how life was in a school which is less out of the public eye.


when i first arrived at my new class, it was kind of awkward because firstly, everyone spoke chinese. well, most. i was thankful that there was one guy whom i knew (he transferred to sajc after that what a dog) and so at least i knew one of his friend. after a while, i realized hey, there are people as retarded as me.


soon enough, cliques were formed and these two guys and one bamboo pole became the buddies i had in school.


taking photos became a large part of school.



and so did body-part vandalizing and trying my best not to fall asleep during lectures. (yes i know, the ugliest pe t-shirt you've ever seen is on me)


at times, the thought of missing out on acjc crept into my mind but schoolwork and ccas frequently pushed those thoughts into a small corner of my head.




soon i realized hongkong people loved climbing onto people backs and camwhore.



OCIP was a defining moment in my life. it was an experience to say the least and i learnt many things on the trip. not just issues regarding poverty and stuff but lessons on how to deal with people and inter-personal relationships as well.


doing stupid things in front of mirrors were a must before every PE lesson.


and a game of bridge was mandatory during breaks.

at the end of the day, the friendships forged during the past 1 year and 9 months may not be as strong as it could have been and the experience is nothing compared to the 4 years of sec sch life, i am glad to have survived this long and while it was not a fantastic, life-changing experience. i am still happy that these people played a part in my life.

9th april 2008
930am
basicmilitaryschool pulautekong school 2

DIE LAH EHHHHH.

the reason why i watch rugby for 10 minutes.

inspiring stuff. watch how they stare down the french and how chabal aka caveman from france stares back in return.


this is the caveman in case you can't figure out who he is.

i have been lacking motivation to do work for the past few days for some unknown reason but i am glad that i sat down and did math today which to a certain extent, shed some light on my weaknesses. exactly 3 more weeks to go till first paper. i had some weird dream last night where i was taking some weird aircraft. well ok that was random.

the weather has been mad. it was cold last night (loved it) but it was hot today. temperamental. anyhoo, off i go now. take care, study hard people.

so i'm 18. it seems so surreal and hardly believable that i've reached some sort of milestone in my life.

this post is really cliche but i am going to go ahead and do it and thank everyone who wished me a happy birthday. in no particular order i would like to thank the following people:

richard
dom
bert
ben

thanks for spending time with me yesterday and i absolutely love the present. thanks so much. lets hang out after the dreaded a's thank you very much hahaa.

myclassmates
george,john,nic
they made me panick in school after i saw them carrying a bottle of brown liquid. but thanks nonetheless for putting in the effort to make me feel scared. =/

danieltay
zee
jiawei
chinmin (who won the award for longest sms)
fifteen
andrewtan
junxiong
saumya (im terribly sorry the msg got stuck in the outbox!)
joshuatang
debo
chelle lee

thanks for the messages! hahaha. you guys remembered! :)

radhi
kat

thanks for calling hahaha i'm terribly sorry radhi for missing your birthday i really am!

jiawei
wz
chelle goh
huankai
vincent

iceskating was fun hahaha but rather painful. thanks for spending some time with me on my birthday. cheers.

and finally, to those on who wished me on friendster and facebook. thanks a bunch toooooo.

well, that's about it. i'm glad i lived for 18 years. it has been quite long. haha. sooo long people. i haven't studied today i need to get started.

it is my current favourite. (yes i know i'm a loser i have no life i watch teevee all day and adore advertisements).

BUT IT NEVER FAILS TO CHEER ME UP. :D

MUMBAI DA, INDIA.

i am quite happy today. not to say that today was a fantastic day but i am rather happy because i got a decent grade for econs! :D it was unexpected but well, the prelims have proven to be the epitome of the unexpected.

dom and i went back to hans to study again and while i managed to do a math paper 1 and not fail (i think), all i could think about was what dom said. he said, "if i were born in england, i don't think i'll be mugging that hard for a levels. i think i'll be at some football academy now."

given my nature of being football crazy i think i would probably go down the same road too. i mean, i know only the really good players earn the big bucks but it has always been my dream to play for a professional football club. fine i may not be at that kind of standard now (i said may not) but i think if i trained as frequently as those in the academy, i would probably be able to give it a shot.

nevermind if i can't play for manchester united. coca-cola championship is decent enough. or maybe i can play for wigan. :D

but oh well too bad i was born in singapore where we all lead "pressure-cooker" lifestyles. i have to stop thinking of crowds of 60000 chanting my name. its the a levels man. VAMOS.