i like long bus rides.

sitting alone with music playing while you stare out of the rain-streaked window, watching people pass by. nothing seems to matter during that period of time. as if time stood still. no, i am wrong. nothing matters during that period of time. its just you, the music and the passerbys. and for the entire ride, you forget about everything that bothered you.

only for everything to come gushing back to you the moment the ride ends, the music stops playing and you get off the bus.

pardon me, it has been an emotionally draining day.

and so my faint hopes of getting into nus has been inevitably dashed. what's next? i don't know. i'm pretty much getting used to disappointment.

my life has been filled with nothing but disappointment after disappointment anyway.

reading my blog archives made me realize how much i've changed in these few years. for good or for bad i can't decide but i'm pretty sure i'm satisfied with the person i am now. and while the next 2 years would be nothing but a transition period, i hope i'll get to learn more about myself as a person. in just 1 month, i dare say i've learnt a few things about my character already. they say field camp reveals a person's true colours. and i think that's the truth.

universities are starting to offer places to my peers and i'm basically just bumming around hoping i would receive a letter from nus soon. so far, smu has rejected (wow a big surprise) me and ntu has treated me as if i did not pay the application fee.

we'll find out soon. things would be good if i receive good news from nus.

its been more than a month now since the day my hair was chopped off. it has been eventful. while some parts may not have been relatively pleasant, it has been better for me compared to what others are going through. 2 impt parts of bmt is over and ippt is the only one left.

boy, will i never forget the feeling of proning in shin high muddy water.

the feeling of knowing that you'll be going back in a few hours is probably one of the worst feelings ever. i'm not saying that life there is awful or anything, in fact i guess its probably better than what most have had. its just the fact that you are going back to becoming the lowest life form for the next 5 days is very depressing.

and so i've survived the 16 day confinement and am now on a long weekend no thanks to my weak stomach. been having diarrhoea of late.

army isn't as bad as some made it out to be. i would really like to thank God for good and understanding superiors and wonderful and caring bunk mates.

field camp and range coming up soon. barely a month to POP. lets go.