the end is near. the end of my trainee days is coming! just one more month to passing out and i'm done with trainee life. life's tough when you're at the bottom of the food chain and seriously, its more of a struggle more than anything else down there. but i'm starting to see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.
fascinating stuff this singapore grand prix business. i was quite excited and felt a tinge of national pride when i saw the singapore grand prix on teevee. i must say it is quite a spectacle. watching those gorgeous f1 racing cars flying by on the very roads we travel on is quite something. more than that, it made me have a sudden realization about how many things i should be thankful for. if you wonder how they link up, i say it beats the hell out of me too.
incoherent thoughts i say.
in other news, i welcome back my brother from another mother who is coming back from the dense jungles of brunei. now i have someone to hang out with again on weekends.
yes, it is still a sad life i live.
it has been a week of realization, revelations. mostly bad/unhealthy ones. things are getting slightly ludicrous.
a spider spinning its web on the ceiling of my bunk cost me 1.5 hours of my civilian life. awesome. just awesome.
sometimes, the injustice which is so apparent in our every day life just overwhelms me.
been reading a lot by my standards of late. its a healthy habit. keeps my mind active. i like it. life has been... neutral. no rollercoasters of any sort. it has just been plain-sailing. no choppy waters, no turbulence. its almost become boring. of no meaning.
and so i start to think a lot. too much for my own good. on bright, sunny days, i get all cheery about things and on dull, cloudy, ominous days, things don't look too great.
i must say, life is secure now. even comfortable to some extent. there's no fear of what lies ahead simply because i know what is it going to be like for the 1.5 years. but then, what happens after that? i cannot help but think about it. i've no university. not yet at least but what if it remains status quo? what if i cannot further my education, something which is commonplace amongst everyone now?
i'm almost becoming like one of the paranoid characters in one of the books i've read. thinking isn't exactly as great a process as many people think it is.
and tonight is one of those dull, cloudy nights. i feel insecure about what lies beyond, and as much as i tell myself how great life is or can be, there are days, like today, where i know, it is merely just a thought meant to comfort my inner self. because on days like these, i feel so insecure, so insignificant i become unsure of everything.
ah. screw the monotony. life should be a rollercoaster, only then will you not get too caught up in your own thoughts. there will be so many ups and downs you will only experience each up and each down as they come and that's the way things should be. just so you don't look too far ahead. just so you don't have that much time to think about what is in the future. living in the moment.
so kids, if ever you think your life is a roller coaster, be thankful it ain't a lazy, wading pool. you might get so paranoid you'd think the next turn would take you down the niagara falls.
guard duty tomorrow. splendid.
